From "News of the Weird"

Why God never become an associate professor


  1. He had only one major publication.
  2. It was in Hebrew.
  3. It had no references.
  4. It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
  5. Some even doubt he wrote it by himself.
  6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since
  7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
  8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
  9. He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human
 10. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it by drowning his
 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the
 12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
 13. Some say he had his son teach the class.
 14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed
     his tests.
 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.
 17. No record of working well with colleagues.